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Well, if you thought this was a useful, or even serious link you've either been mislead or are
sadly mistaken. This is the page where I, and others, post nonsensical musings. To the right is a random
homer quote, a cartoon character that even among his many foibles is perhaps the smartest man in
the world. He is the embodiment of everything that is right and true in modern man, so read his words
and find yourself at peace.
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Random Homer quote:
#!/usr/bin/perl
##############################################################################
# Random Text Version 1.0 #
# Copyright 1996 Matt Wright mattw@worldwidemart.com #
# Created 7/13/96 Last Modified 7/13/96 #
# Scripts Archive at: http://www.worldwidemart.com/scripts/ #
##############################################################################
# COPYRIGHT NOTICE #
# Copyright 1996 Matthew M. Wright All Rights Reserved. #
# #
# Random Text may be used and modified free of charge by anyone so long as #
# this copyright notice and the comments above remain intact. By using this #
# code you agree to indemnify Matthew M. Wright from any liability that #
# might arise from it's use. #
# #
# Selling the code for this program without prior written consent is #
# expressly forbidden. In other words, please ask first before you try and #
# make money off of my program. #
# #
# Obtain permission before redistributing this software over the Internet or #
# in any other medium. In all cases copyright and header must remain intact #
##############################################################################
# Define Variables #
# This is the file in which all of your random text phrases are stored. #
#$random_file = "/home/swingers/theocean/wip/quote.txt";
$random_file = "./homer/homer";
# The delimiter specifies how each phrase is distinguished from another. For#
# instance, the common fortune file (a Unix program) is delimited by a new #
# line followed by two % signs on the next line and then a new line. This is#
# a pretty good format and you can read more about it in the README file. #
#$delimiter = "\n\%\%\n";
$delimiter = "\n\%\n";
# Done #
##############################################################################
# Open the file containing phrases and read it in.
open(FILE,"$random_file") || &error('open->random_file',$random_file);
@FILE = ;
close(FILE);
# Join these lines from the file into one large string.
$phrases = join('',@FILE);
# Now split the large string according to the $delimiter.
@phrases = split(/$delimiter/,$phrases);
# Invoke srand; with a seed of the time and pid. If you are on a machine
# which doesn't put the pid into $$ (ie. Macintosh, Win NT, etc...), change
# this line to: srand(time ^ 22/7);
srand(time ^ $$);
# Now pluck our random phrase out of the @phrases array! But wait! This
# only returns a number.
$phrase = rand(@phrases);
# Print out the Content-type header, so the browser knows what's going on.
print "Content-type: text/html\n\n";
# Change this number into the text we want to return and print it!
print $phrases[$phrase];
# All Done!
exit;
# Was there an error? If so, let's report that sucker so it can get fixed!
sub error {
($error,$file) = @_;
print <<"END_ERROR";
Content-type: text/html
ERROR: Random File Unopenable
ERROR: Random File Unopenable
The random file, as specified in the \$random_file perl variable was
unopenable.
END_ERROR
if (-e $random_file) {
print "The file was found on your system, so make sure that it is\n";
print "readable by the web server. This means you will need to\n";
print "execute the following command: \n";
print " chmod 744 $random_file\n";
print "\n";
}
else {
print "The file was not found on your file system. This means that\n";
print "it has either not been created or the path you have specified\n";
print "in \$trrandom_file is incorrect.\n";
}
exit;
}
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